Saturday, January 14, 2012

Me & Mail

     Me & Mail have a love hate relationship. It can make my day, or it can ruin it. It can cause anxiety, or it can ease all my stresses. It does a lot and I could go on and on about this. But the point is today is a hate day. It has been over 3 weeks since I received a letter from Daniel, even though I know he is writing them. I should have received some kind of letter by now, but no, NOTHING. I should probably stop checking the mail so early in the day because then for the rest of the day I just sit and brew over it. I have literally no one to be upset with except the U.S. Mail, which is an impossible task. I can't be mad at Daniel because I didn't send him off on a mission to write me letters for two whole years, I sent him off to serve the Lord. But at the same time I'm annoyed with him, and that only turns to annoyance with myself because really I can't blame him. I have it a lot better than many other girls. Some only get a letter a month or every few months because of where their missionary is, or how busy he is. Some don't get emails either. I usually get an email a week and a letter too. I think that's the issue, I'm spoiled. I knew being the baby of the family would come to bite me in the butt...
     You think that not getting letters isn't a big deal until your best friend is on a mission and that's the ONLY way of really communicating. His emails are always very short because he doesn't have much time, so his letters is where all the greatness is. You quickly learn that it doesn't matter what he is saying just as long as he is saying something. You know how you used to treasure his voice or being with him? Yep, that's out the window. For two years you get to treasure his handwriting and stupid drawings. It doesn't get easier as it goes on., you only get used to constantly missing him. Stuff happens and you still want to tell him about it first, but you can't, unless that stuff happened around a p-day. You ask questions, tell stories, and make comments that are never responded to because there is too much to tell in a letter a week. You have so much to say and then sit down to write it and nothing comes out because all it really comes down to is that you miss him and life isn't the same. You plan for the future up until the day he gets home because after that who knows what life will be like. "What ifs" are an everyday thought, "what is" starts to fade, and promises have conditions. That's what it is like to have a missionary out. Sure, its a blessing and a amazing time to grow, but it's not all peaches & cream. It's real life, and sometimes real life can hurt. Okay, I'm done venting. Here's to next week and hoping a letter comes!
Until next time,

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