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Saturday, April 2, 2011

What I say and what I mean are not the same thing

       So I have been thinking about this one a lot lately. As a girl I find myself saying things all the time but really meaning something completely different. So I figured I would make a funny post off all the funny things women say and what they really mean! Enjoy because this one sure made me laugh!
Fine
    This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes     If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing      This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead    This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh     Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay       This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks
      This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it. Just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

I Need
I want

We Need
I want

It's your decision
The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do whatever you want
You are going to pay for this later

We need to talk
I need to complain, and you need to listen

Sure...go ahead
I don't want you to

I'm not upset
Of course I'm upset, you moron!

I'm not emotional! I'm not overreacting!
I have a server case of PMS

I need new shoes
The other 40 pair are simply the wrong shade

How much do you love me?
I did something today you're really going to hate

You have to learn to communicate
Just agree with me

Are you listening to me?
Too late, you're already dead

Yes
No

No
No

Maybe
No

I'm sorry
You'll be sorry

I was wrong
Not as wrong as you

I'm not yelling!
Of course I'm yelling, this is important!

Yep
This is one of two things. 1. You are annoying me beyond my understanding or 2. I'm going to see how bad you really want to talk to me beacause this will force you to come up with something
          In other news 18 days till I'm on my way back to Tejas! And I have lost a total of 19 pounds! I started my application and all that mess for my AWESOME INTERNSHIP with my one true love (hope he isn't reading this)! I can't wait! Ankle is still bummed, so working out is a negative. But hopefully I will be back at it soon because not working out= no eating because you burn like zero calories! Tonight I AM ACTUALLY GOING OUT! So hopefully I have some great stories to tell y'all! Oh and if anyone can find me a magic eraser that can erase parts of your life a.k.a. the last 7 months of mine, that would be great! So keep a look out for me! Hope this finds you guys well!
Until my next wonderful post,
Muah!

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